Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Jeans Jeans Jeans remix

I am having an issue finding jeans. Yes, Jeans its like a torturous battle. They have to have a little stretch to them but not too much because by the end of the day they are sagging off your butt. and then the dreaded rise of the jean. high rise, mid rise, low rise, and butt crack hanging out rise. Then you got tall and average, which I'm in between. Great, So high rise i feel like I'm being suffocated in a body brace. mid rise, well its OK but for whatever reason the waist always seems to dig in my stomach. Low rise, Oh hell the muffin top makes its appearance. Crack rise ohh $#!^ i look like humpty dumpty! Where the hell did my back pockets go? Oh there they are, on my second ass that is now formed because of the new tightness in the legs. If I bend over I'm afraid the damn things will roll down like nylons! They should not be making those in my size!!

When I went shopping this weekend I figured Great! I can find a few new Jeans with Black Friday pricing. I must had tried on at least 50 Pairs of jeans. And its not that they are just too small and you need to get a bigger size its all these things rolled in one. I can say now if I find a pair of jeans and any one of these things is off: rise, stretch, length, Just forget about it! Don't go get the same pair in a different size because it throws you even more off! If the stretch ain't right in the legs but the waist fits a bigger size makes the legs better BUT now you got this gap in the back. If the jeans fit but are too short OF COURSE they don't sell that jean in different Lengths.

This is specially traumatizing when you have been shopping since 3 in the morning, wearing yesterdays makeup and still have pumpkin pie under your nails!!!!

So, I left the mall with a new item, LEGGINGS!!!!!!!!!

But the saga continues, you see, me and leggings already have a love hate relationship. I love them when I'm eating I hate them when I am trying to put jeans back on!

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